He came home last night with a bag full of shopping , something that he does everytime he comes home from work. The kids love him because he never fails to bring home their favorite snacks . They would always find a reason to stay awake till their father comes home . When he is out for a business meeting and could not come back home that night , the kids would be sad and constantly asking where their dad is .
“Dady will be back next week and he will bring you something good from there, sawa? “
I am always a strict mum and a disciplinarian, I don’t want them to be spoiled and become reckless people in future . This ,thanks to strict parenting I had when I was young , though I will not impose very strict discipline to them compared to how my father used to discipline us .
James is the eldest of them ,he will be turning 14 this year . Being a teenager , he has developed a bond with me so everyday he would tell me how his day was ,sometimes he would tell me how a girl made him lose his self esteem for refusing to lend him a geometrical set because he is from a different ethnicity. ( How does a child think of ethnic differences at that age? Have we lost direction as a nation)
“Akikuambia hivo tena nitakuja shule ”
This phrase not only consoles the child but also gives the impression that the parent is concerned about the welfare of the child .
James however is an observant child unlike Jacinta and Alexis .James was born at the time we had nothing at all, living each day by God’s grace , we had nothing to boast about since we dwelt in a humble abode . He is that kind of kid who never has a thing with pleasures of life ,one who would never complain if we ever lack sugar in the morning tea.
I would not blame the rest of my children for how they are because they were born in an era when we had stabilized and did not know what poverty means ; atleast I had found myself a job to support the family along with my husband.
But where is their dad in the picture? You might be wondering.
Baba James is a business man in town , he owns a couple of business which actually yeild alot of income . His father was a business man too ,so it’s like a family thing to own a couple of businesses.
our marriage is two decades old and with 3 children ,we have been a great family, many looking up to us as an inspiration ,these days I hear people using the hashtag goals (#familygoals). However, we cannot put our heads up .The struggle was not easy .
The Genesis of our relationship dates many years ago when I met him. He was just a simple guy ,I mean he was a cool guy , although he did not posses the tall – dark look but he was handsome . It wasn’t the case of love at first sight ,it was sight at first love (you know )
He used to be a business person, he used to sell roasted maize ,some groundnuts and sweets beside the road every evening .He was young but still managed to do all that while his peers had been employed and living lavish lifestyles. Anyone could tell that he was learned,by the way he interacted with his customers.
On this day I passed by his ‘choma baze’
” Welcome madam , what will you have ? Fresh maize , groundnuts, sweets, what will you have? “
Before I could answer he went ahead
“My maize is very fresh , soft and sweet , have a taste madam, you will love it”
His eloquence just amazed me for a fact . I didn’t expect that from him . Actually I was going to inquire about a certain shop I had been sent to. I went on to buy the maize out of his marketing skills and his zeal, passion for his work and alot more to envy from him . Unfortunately ,he did not have enough change because I handed him a “large note” (noti kubwa) because I didn’t have loose money or coins.
“Madam ukipita hapa kesho utanipa tu, ni sawa?”
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I felt bad for him ,I felt that I hadn’t done some justice to him , what if that 20 shilling could be for his needs that day , what if I fail to return the next day,will he curse me?
Although he assured me that there was no harm ,I couldn’t be at peace. I threw in the towel and agreed to pass by the next day…
The following day I made sure to carry the exact amount . He was so happy to see me . However, he did not take the cash when I handed it to him , he instead told me to wait and that I would give him the day he will ask for it. That became weird and unexpected of him. He told me to pass by there everyday , if I wouldn’t mind . Of course I had to pass by there because I was indebted to him .
Weeks and months passed and we had become great friends although we only met everytime I passed by his work place .
One day when I passed by , he was smartly dressed, well kempt hair than his usual look and smartly shaved beards and with polished shoes. He wore a cologne that day! He had packaged himself like a boss ,I actually thought he was from an interview. I wish you had seen how he had pulled out the cool guy look .
“Daisy , I have met so many ladies but I have never met anyone like you , all this time I have been thinking about you , I know I cannot meet your standards ,I am just a hustler but I will work much harder to support our family. I know I am saying alot of strange things to you but know that I love you “
As the saying goes, the rest is history.So that is how I met their dad, my husband. A tale of debt ,date till death do us part .