Forgive me father, but am I worthy to be forgiven? 

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“Forgive me father for I have sinned , I have not repented for the past one year , my heart is heavy since that time ,these are the things I have done since then …”

This time I had to go for confession , it has taken me so long to take courage and go to confess my sins and seek for forgiveness and strength from God through the priest; as is the Catholic tradition .

Why that day? I bet it was the fact that a new priest has been posted to our parish to conduct confessions that day ,or maybe I needed to get the burden off my shoulder, a burden I had been Carrying for such a long time . I bet it was the reason I had missed alot in life while burdening myself with some things that needed to be off shouldered.

I am a person who smiles every time ,always jovial and active ,easy going and many people think that I never have stress or anything related . Truth be told ,I hide alot of things in my heart .for the sake of relating with people , I have to be what they always know me of . Whenever am alone , I am a sad person since that time I get to reflect upon myseries , which no one ever knew except my tiny diary that I speak to every day .

Have you watched a series named 13 Reasons Why ? Sometimes I think am that girl Hannah …well …sometimes .

“Go on child of God ,” said the priest.
” I was employed to work as a house help , the same house where I still work today . You have ever heard of these miseries that most of the people like us go through, but I would like to tell you my part ,” I started
” The family am working with is a young one , a young family of three , a wife ,husband and their two year old child . I am mostly tasked with the house duties during the day when they leave for work . I do my duties pretty well and I managed to win the trust of my employers. They would treat me as part of them , they would pay me very well since I was excellent in what I did . They had a soft spot for me . You know it’s the best feeling when you can be trusted.

Well, that was not the case .

The husband was a wicked one , forgive me for saying that ,but it’s the truth . He always leave for work much later than his wife . During that time I would serve him his breakfast and I realized that he had eyes for me . He would hold my hands or sometimes touch me seductively .

You would expect me to be harsh on him or give him a thorough slap or even report him to his wife ,sindio?

Well, it was a routine that when the wife left for work , I was in charge and he would take charge on me.

We were never caught and neither were we suspicious,since we had a strong bond as family.

I fell in love with the husband , greatly in love ,despite the fact that he was married to my employer or rather he was my employer .

Father ,I had a choice of leaving ,to go far away ,to evade trouble and breaking the family ,but I didn’t. I stayed , hiding the other part of me.

It wasn’t long when I realized that I was pregnant . I was pregnant with that man’s child . That was the hardest point I was in . It meant that I had to escape so that his wife would not find out ,but where would I go? I wanted to reveal to the man,but would be accept ? ” I paused there .

“These are the sins that I can remember,” I concluded.

“My child , it’s good that you have opened up and let go of your troubles ….” He went on to advise me on what to do.

The burden was lifted from my chest , but not the burden I have now.

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A proactive Communication professional , with passion in using the new media to highlight the good, the bad as well as the ugly in the society. I love working with diverse groups of people on our day to day life. One of my interest areas includes SDG 5, Gender Equality and SDG13 ,Climate Action. Through this blog, I hope to highlight the gaps in the two pertinent issues. I graduated from Multimedia University with a degree in Bachelor of Applied Communication , Corporate Communication option. I have had vast experience in PR industry as well as NGO sector. I am usually smiling, you should check me out on my social media platforms!

15 COMMENTS

  1. Confession is always the first step to healing. However, prevention servers better than cure.
    Good read.
    Thank you

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